Back to square 1...

After all that work, I'm back to square one once again.

Do you know what do when you've worked on one circuit for 7 weeks and still it doesn't work. Its as if its no better than it was in the first day.

I know what to do..

Clean my room!!!

VPU...

Besides VCF, and productions music, VPU is the other committee which I had put my heart into it. Of all the years in that committee (actually only 2 years), I enjoyed last year's VPU the most. I like the company back then. Although its easy for me coz I really didn't edit much videos. I still remember the times when me, wei de and che lei stayed up the whole night to edit the pre-ihg videos. I can't really say that I'm competent in editing video or was I passionate. But its an experience.
For year two, I remember the times when I taught them how to use the video cam, adobe premier, using the TV. I remember the IHG periods(Softball video again), cleaning the editing room during holidays, and my short film group, but I didn't help them much too, doing Nominations for IHG players video, being the QC for the pre-IHG video..Haha...plenty of memories...

Perhaps I'll join again next year.

Yay!!!

For the past few days, I've hit a dead wall. No progress at all for my project or my mini project and lab report. No matter what I tried to do, I was still stuck.

Somehow, today was better. I finally met the lab person and he was quite nice and helpful to me. So, finally, my circuit could be done. Also, I've managed to send 1500 bytes over via serial cable.

running without weariness

I just went for a run just now with Ivan and Eric. Initially I wasn't really planning on doing any exercise this week. I was more tied up with programming and circuit building. But anyway, I hit a dead end in my programming anyway, so I decided to go for it.

Running wasn't that easy as before. Although we ran at a quite comfortable pace throughout, I was feeling weariness, my muscles felt strained and I was gasping for air.

I couldn't help think about the last book of the chronicles of Narnia where all the children and the animals were running in the new Narnia. (The old Narnia was destroyed) They were running as fast as the unicorn (The speed of a horse I suppose) throughout the land. They were running so fast and yet not feeling a hint of weariness. And later on, being so filled with vigor and energy, they sped up to the point that they were as fast as flying. Imagine that. I would love to run at that speed and not grow weary.

Even the youths faint and get weary, and the young men utterly fall; But those who wait for Yahweh will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run, and not be weary. They will walk, and not faint.

Sometimes we need a break...

Well, I've done quite a lot of activities so far in the first few weeks. Sometimes its good to just stop a while and chill.

I think I chilled a bit too much today. After coming back from class, I just stopped by the comm hall and listened to Gerry playing on the piano...Well, I chilled about 1 hour at the piano. After that, went back and played two rounds of DOTA with like Ivan, Guo An and Eric. After the game, I played basketball till 7pm. And after that, went out to join Ivan, Jean and Elaine for dinner. And after hopping from restaurants to restautants, we walked back from Holland V to NUS. And its 2:46am liao...

To spend a day in such a way...

I had a dream

Last night I had a dream. There was a piano in front of me. And then, all of the sudden I started playing. Playing impromptu piece, some piece that I have never heard before. It began with a fast and lively music, and then it slowed down to some beautiful clash notes. My fingers were trying to catch up with the tune. When my fingers stopped, I realised the music was still going on. It was in my head. I was not playing it at all. It was such a beautiful tune!

Unfortunately, I woke up, forgetting the tune completely.

I tried playing the piano just now. but it didn't sound half as good as the tune in my dream.

The lady near Sim Lim Tower

No, I'm not talking about a chio bu.

Last Thursday, due to the unavailability of components in the lab, I had to go all the way to Sim Lim Towers to buy an instrumental Amplifier for my EE2001 Project. The breadboard prototyping is next week and I just realised it recently. So, I am quite behind schedule, coz I haven't even bought the components yet.

So, while I was at Rocher road, a lady suddenly tried to call some people but she was ignored. Then while I was approaching, she called me. And (stupidly) I responded.

She came speaking Chinese(for she was not fluent in English) and keep telling me that she doesn't have a job and she had some thyroid problem and her mom was sick. She kept on saying that she wants to tapau meehoon for her brother, sister and mom. Then it occurred to me that she wanted money.

I was quite weary and I was afraid that she might be a cheat, but I cant bear to walk off just like that if what she was telling is the truth. Hence, judging by her shabby appearance and desperate tone of voice and her politeness, I asked her how much she needed. She said she needs $8. So I decided to give her the benefit of doubt and gave her $10 (with a frown on my face) and tried to rush off to Sim Lim to get my components and be done with it.

But after giving her my money, she was so happy and she introduced herself(Which I forgot her name instantly) and asked me my name. I muttered "Victor" which sounded like "peter" or "Bee de" or whatever and tried to rush off and brush her aside. But she kept trying to follow me and tried to talk with me coz she's so happy that someone helped her.

Damn sad...In my pride and arrogance, I didn't even bother trying to remember her name. After her introducing herself, it is evident that she isn't trying to cheat me. She is so genuinely happy that she wanted to talk to me or make friends with me. But I, sadly, am too busy, and too arrogant perhaps, not to try talking to her.

Where is my compassion? Why am I so caught up with my own project that I neglected and despised the poor. Donating $10 is one thing. Treating them with dignity and trying to make friends with them is another thing. She is probably despised by everyone on the streets. I am no different from the rest. Deep down inside, I know that I am too busy to care for other people. My actions made me realise that.

It is really sad to see people in those kind of conditions. It is even sadder to see that there people like me who despised them.

These thoughts went with me throughout the day. And I really regretted my actions that day.

Fear

Today's sermon in church is about fear. Fear is not uncommon to everybody but yet it is seldom addressed. Well, I have my fears also. This fear makes me want to take control of everything in my life.

Have you all ever heard of the story of the disciples of Jesus Christ in the boat? When a storm came, the disciples became afraid and they woke Jesus up on the boat fearing that they might die. Then Jesus, went and rebuked the storm and it became still. That is the story that came to my mind.

Well, most of Jesus' disciples are fishermen. So I guess if they're afraid it really means the storm is great.

Now, drawing back comparisons, it is not like my life is a storm now. In fact, I find myself drifting away in complacency, without any motivation to improve or do good to society.

I'm especially fearful when it comes to relationships (not just the romantic kind of relationships). One thing is for sure, that is to trust in God, knowing that He will provide all our needs. What does it mean? Giving up control and letting things be the way it is?

Tomorrow is going to be a better day. Although I still have lab reports to do, I'll make it a point to make time for other people as well, if they need my help or my company. haha...I have this fear of rejection as well.