Insecure

Sometimes, i just need to grow up......need to let go.....not close myself in....

The beginning of school life

The past few weeks have been quite busy for me. Though it may seem hectic, I was enjoying myself for the past few days.

The retreat at Grace's house was quite enjoyable. It really helped me to learn more about this 'Integral Mission' or 'IM' that the exco has been talking about. After so many years of my life, I have decided to step out of my comfort zone and share more about my life. I think I really surprised myself by sharing one of my commitments this semester is to begin a relationship. I was trembling then as I shared more about my personal life. Yup my first step.

I was quite nervous when I went to meet you at dhoby ghaut the other day. The feeling was a bit mixed: excited and nervous. I somehow felt quite comfortable around you. Time suddenly passed and soon I'll meet your friends. I dreaded that moment at first. It was a bit awkward at first when I wasn't introduced. Anyways, that really was my first time going out by the way.

It was quite nice meeting you again for the 2nd time in the week. I really enjoyed window shopping at orchard. I don't really like shopping but for last Sunday, the time just flew past. Hopefully and prayerfully I hope things will work out fine and meanwhile I'll just be patient and let time take its natural course.

Holidays are coming to an end...

Since I came back from France, I have been making regular trips back to Singapore. I find that the holidays are indeed much busier than during the semester. But I have a feeling that I'm going to take back my previous statement about the holidays being busier because I'm about to go through my final year in NUS.

Yes, I've been anticipating attending lectures in English! I want to have the free time during the semester! I have only bidded for 3 modules in CORS. But I need to wait for my results in France to determine whether I still need to take that particular module. My friend just told me he failed the module. So, I have a feeling I failed too because I was in the same project group and both of us did practically nothing for it.

Next week I shall officially move in to Temasek hall and stay there during the week. No more making trips to Singapore and coming back to JB.

Updates..

I went for my first and last VCF Freshman Orientation Camp (FOC) last week. I was quite sick then. While I was signing up for it I was secretly hoping that they would not allow me to attend the camp coz I was having sore throat and flu. Now the camps have a lot of H1N1 regulations. Haha, the only reason I attended this camp was because I was in the exco.

The first day was not that bad. When I just arrived, I was wearing the wrong color. Apparently the OGLs are supposed to tell the group wat color to wear, I didnt receive the sms (Well, it was because I signed up on a Friday and the camp starts the following Monday) So, I was in brown when everyone else was in black.

But somehow on of the OGL recognised me and said "you're Victor right?" I was a bit surprised, the OGLs dun have my name in the group. Somehow, she said you were in Anntic camp right? Haha...Not bad people actually do recognise me =) Anyways, she also shared once during the sharing that anntic camp was quite good. Haha...I guess I'll share this with the next anntic comm people.

Anyways, I met my 2 of my exco members during the icebreaker games in the camp. One of them was like "Oh! So you're the Victor in Exco!!". Well that is because I never attended a single exco meeting till now.

So, during the games sessions, I was like playing like crazy. Our group actually did cheers. I was quite high also while playing hai dai hai dai. The trick was to shout super loud and scare the other party. So I tried and I shouted quite loud at my OG mates. Then they made me a secret weapon and wanted to play me against girls only. Then, when my turn came to play with a girl, the girl in the opposite girl told me to be gentlemanly. And everyone won against me coz when I couldnt bear to shout at those girls coz they look so small and fragile. LOL....

I learnt quite alot from the freshies during the discussion sessions. They were so optimistic and so idealistic. Yup, I got to learn more from their positive outlook. They all seem so eager to enter their uni life and live it for God. If only I had their convictions. hahaha...

For the last day of the camp, I participated in the group skit. I was told to be dressed as a muscle man. It was quite embarassing. I really didnt want to do it. But some some voice was telling me, "just try it once. It is your last chance coz it is your final year". Usually, I always play a low profile part in my skit. Haha...although embarrassing our group won and because we had family values in our skit.

Yup, I can say in this camp, I bonded quite well with my groupmates. Looks like in the end, although I went to the camp reluctantly, I left it reluctantly also. Haha.. I had fun.


PS: Ok I've updated my blog, now it is your turn =)

I love exams!!

Well, today's exam was one of those kinds...the kind where no matter how much you study, it does not make any difference. No matter how many past year paper you do, no matter how many tutorials u went, no matter how many times you have read the textbook, you still would not know how to do the exam questions.

Wow, that was what I thought about today's exam. To think about it, I should have played the whole weekend and not study since I know that even if I had studied I would not know how to do it. But nevertheless, I gave my best shot. I'm not too worried about it, considering that exchange students hand up their papers to a different pile (A more lenient one, I hope). I heard from another exchange student that he passed this paper with just 5 points! =)

ok...back to the books...it is not over yet...

Wake me up when june ends...

My eyes are getting redder after staring at this screen since morning. Yup, do not get me wrong, I was not playing computer games or going online or watching movies. I was doing my project. Yup, typing the technical part of my project from scratch. Haha, I think I did quite a lot already, enough to make my groupmates feel happy that I'm their groupmate! Hopefully la...because it has always been me being a burden to the group rather than helping them.

Yup, I had done enough constructive work today, so much that there are more work done today alone then the work done for my whole semestre here in france before today. Such is my feeling and such is what I'm willing to exaggerate. Wow! A sense of accomplishment. During my breaks I did not even play games but studied for my upcoming exams. Wow...Victor, I'm impressed (Haha...sorry I started praising myself) Ok, the report is getting very boring and tedious now...

At times like this, how i wish someone would come online and disturb me. But usually it never happens. Might be due to the time difference. But oh well, I might be lucky sometimes. Tired, tired...I accidentally fell asleep just now. I just wandered to my bed and then without realising I was dozing off...haha...I might just fall asleep today and not wake up till my presentation ends...

This is the first time I got angry with my group mates. I was angry to the extent that I accidently broke the piezoelectric source used to power the circuit. Haihs, I can't believe I let anger get the better of me. we have only 2 more days to hand in the report also and 4 more days till the presentation of the circuit.

Dun even feel like going out to eat dinner. Just feel like packing my dinner and shutting myself in the room and sleep...yea..I lack sleep, must be it...