Saturday, April 25

when wandering eyes grow weary...

Since when I was young, I pursued whatever fascinates me. I went for popularity with my friends, academic results, excellence in sports, excellence in computer games, playing musical instruments, etc, etc...

Somehow, now in my later stages of University life, I realised I had no real vision. I was just going with whatever I like at the moment. For example, last time I wanted to go overseas so much that I wanted to go for an exchange. And then, suddenly now, I find myself here in Lyon.

So, what am I supposed to achieve here? Travel around and see the world? Learn a new language? Adapt to a foreign lifestyle? Educate myself with their education system? Make new friends? Take more photos at tourist attractions?

Why did I even take engineering in the first place? Since I was young, I had only one ambition drilled in my mind, to be a doctor. (probably due to the influence of my parents who always wanted me to be a doctor) In the end, electrical engineering, and that was according to what my father had suggested. Whether I like it or not, I would say, no not really. I don't hate it also except when the work given becomes unreasonable.

The point I'm getting to is, I'm doing everything right now according to what I wanted(or had wanted at a certain point in time). There is no fixed vision, there is no direction, just going wherever my wandering eyes land on.

I came across this poem recently...
Since mine eyes have looked on Jesus,
I've lost sight of all beside,
So enchained my spirit's vision,
Gazing on the crucified.

Tuesday, April 21

A wish

One day a boy from a very poor family found an old oil lamp. Knowing what to expect with childlike fantasy, the boy rubbed it with eager anticipation. And behold, a genie appeared but unfortunately he could only grant one wish.

"What do u mean one wish? Aren't you supposed to give me three wishes?" exclaimed the boy indignantly.

"My one wish could give you anything you ever wanted or imagined. The only catch is, I will only grant it if you really want it, badly." affirmed the genie.

Without hesitation, the boy demanded "I want all the riches in the world! I really need it badly! I need it to feed my starving brothers and sisters!"

With a snap of his fingers, the genie filled the entire cave (the cave was very big) with so much gold that the boy could not bring himself to believe it. He euphorically grabbed a few coins, his heart pumping wildly with tears of joy. And with another snap, the gold disappeared, to his utter horror.

"What is the meaning of this?!" shouted the boy bitterly. "You said that you'll grant me one wish!"

"I told you, I will only grant it to you if you want it badly." replied the genie calmly. "Oh I'm hungry, get me some food and then I'll see whether you really want you wish. Oh ya killing me or forcing me won't do any good, I'm too powerful." he added seeing the boy's murderous eyes.

"I'm struggling even to feed my brothers and sisters at home let alone buy you some food. Forget it!"

"Its a pity...Forget about your wish then..."

The worst thing that can ever happen was to have your heart's deepest desire clutched firmly in your hand only to let it slip through your iron like grip seconds later. That was what he felt, the boy had no choice but to listen to his demands. He reasoned that a meal in exchange for a vast amount of riches is still a reasonably good deal. So he went back tried desperately to find means of getting some food.

He did all sorts of odd jobs and eventually brought back some food to the genie. Each time, he will say "See, I have brought you what exactly what you have wanted. I really need the money!" But each time after eating, the genie was not satisfied and demanded for more exotic food. Each time, the boy got more angry but reasoned with himself that the exchange would still be worth it. And each successive time the boy became more obsessive. He worked harder and traveled to even more distant lands to acquire it and got various famous cooks to prepare it, even from cooks of the Sultan's kitchen, cooks from the Eastern Emperor's kitchen to the cooks from the barbaric nomads in the furthest deserts and to the cooks of pirates sailing the seven seas every meal according to the genie's demand. That was his obsession with the glimpse of salvation, a possibility of freeing him and his family from the never-ending cycle of poverty.

30 years passed and the boy(Actually he already grew into a man, but for identification sake, I'll refer to him as 'the boy') kept bringing back various food according to the ridiculous demands of the genie. One day, the boy finally could not take it anymore and unleashed his anger on the genie.

"I HAD ENOUGH!!! EACH TIME I BRING YOU WANT YOU WANTED YOU KEPT DEMANDING FOR MORE! IF IT WERE NOT FOR THOSE RICHES, I WOULD HAVE JUST GOT RID OF YOU!! SEE, ISN'T THIS PROOF OF THE EXTENT OF HOW MUCH I WANT IT! I HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!"

As though as the genie was expecting this since a long time ago, he said, "Yes indeed, I've seen how much you have wanted it." After waiting for him to calm down the genie resumed:

"Now look at yourself. Do you realize how much possessions, livestock, servants, properties, artworks and wealth you have acquired since the day you had met me? Do you realize how much you and your family had climbed up the social classes in your society? Do you realize how much fame you have achieve by your various feats of obtaining rare delicacies? Do you realize how much respect you have gained from common folk and nobility? Do you know that you are the richest person living now and will be for the next 1000 years? Do you still want your wish now?"

Like being awoken suddenly from a dream, it dawned upon the boy that every word of the genie was true. His obsession had blinded him for more than 30 years so much so that he didn't realised that gradually he accumulating riches to the extent that no one except him has ever been able to achieve.

Then, without a word, the boy walked towards the genie, took the lamp, flung it along with its host into the deepest depths of the cave and left.