Great People, Normal People

What really differentiates a great person from normal people? Is it the vision that they have? The execution of their vision? The intense focus they possess? The passion that keeps them moving? The determination to stand up after every fall? Or is it the timing and circumstances they are in?

Those seem like normal things which normal people can do…But to really do it well and better than the rest, I guess that is not so normal after all.

Expensive lesson

I have learnt my lesson, I should have not spent money on myself. I have lost so much money. No more frivolous spending for me. I guess I have to learn to manage my finances better each day

Remember

I have been wanting to do many things this year. However, I never got to start on any of it. I exercised for a while and stopped. I read the Bible and stopped. I wanted to do a daily reflection and I stopped. I guess what I lack is discipline and perseverance.

I guess when I felt like I am losing you, I start to treasure you more. So maybe bad feelings and feelings of insecurity makes me appreciate you more =)

In a Holidaying mood

The feeling of having an income, the security of the job that comes with it, makes me want to spend. Spend, spend and spend. Makes you feel good, considering I haven’t really bought any nice things for myself since a long time. Now, that I have one whole month free, and yet I’m being paid, paid handsomely with bonus as well, for doing nothing, makes me even want to party and splurge.

I am getting materialistic. Yea, who doesn’t like to own stuff and keep them. However, it pays to plan where you spend your money on. So I’m also trying to go into investing.

A little recap of what I have forgotten…

Love is  suffers long and is kind; love does not envyl love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things. hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Too late to start over?

When I look back at the past few years of schooling I wondered what have i done? What have I achieved? Was life intended to be this way for me? 24 years of not achieving anything. Some people have already made their first 1 million when they reach 21. Some already got married and started a family. Well me? haha who knows?

So this is my journey, the journey to find out what I am supposed to achieve in life…

This path that I chose isn't going to be easy...

Too naive?

Sometimes, when you were young, you dream too big? You have your ideals about the world, you have your passion? You want to make a difference. You want to make a change.

What is my dream? What are my ideals?

Sometimes, I think I dream too small…

Lessons learnt

“We learn more from our failures more than our successes”

If I were to be my own professor and grade my effort and achievements for the this semester, I would have gave an “F”. I am not being modest nor am I too self-judgmental. One thing I have found lacking is focus.

“I need to get a job. But I don’t know which job I want”

“How ar? Anything lar…”

“Am I aiming for first class? Second upper? Or just to pass?”

World affairs? Singapore affairs? Malaysian affairs? School affairs? I do not know nor care about. I am comfortable living in my sheltered sphere for today. Whatever tomorrow may bring let it be, for today, I shall eat drink and be merry. What do I want in life? I do not know. Everything seems fine to me – then I might as well say I want nothing at all.

If  only I knew my nonchalant attitude in life would drift me further away from life into mere existence, I would have done something about it.  What does it mean to have a life? To have enjoyment? To have purpose? To have a direction or a destiny?

 

The seemingly murky future lies ahead of me.

Treasuring each moment and giving it back to God

The past few days had been so enjoyable. I am learning each day to treasure it and to give thanks to God for it.

Last Thursday, I went to the airport to sent Keren's bro off. It was a good seeing Keren again. It was really nice seeing her family as well. However, I felt bad when her grandma and aunt inquired me about the flight tickets. I realised my mistake, I felt guilty, sad, bad and angry at the same time. Nevertheless, I am still thankful that it happened so that I had learnt a valuable lesson - not to be too hasty and a better communication. I don't blame Keren either =) but I'm really thankful she offered to share the blame =)

Last Saturday, we went back to JB again. I must say, I am always so happy to bring her back. Although JB is not a great place, but it feels special evertime we go back. Haha, well at least for me it is special... I am thankful for her understanding and sacrifice. I enjoyed the bowling game with her and the pool game with her. I had to admit that she is a better pool player than me =p But I'm not that bad either right? at least I got my ball in and we fought for the last black ball =) HAHA...I'm looking forward for our next game.

Going back to jb always means watching movies. That is because the price of movies are so much cheaper there. And my sister was so happy going out for a movie too. LOL. She was like so eager to go watch...we went there last minute and we finally watched 'Tooth Fairy' which was a typical feel good movie. I like those kind of movies although people tend to say the ending is so cliche. But I always love a happy ending =)

I went to Keren's church this sunday. It was certainly nice going there because my family enjoyed the experience too. Haha, I am not advocating church hopping here...haha... The message was quite good. As a community, we can achieve more. What are we doing as a community? Are we moving towards a certain direction or are we just meeting up just for no good reason.

Learning to love you more

Love is patient...even if it means waiting...suffering while waiting...then I have much to learn...

Love does not seek its own...If loving is letting go all and not keeping for myself, then I have much to learn...

Love thinks no evil...if it ever means doubting you, then I have much to learn also

Even if I can't do it, doesn't mean that I'm not trying...just give me some more time...

Will you be able to wait for me?

Eating trip to Melaka

I just went for an eating trip to Melaka with Keren and her family. To sum it all up, it was a great trip.

The first stop was Yong Peng. Somehow, Samuel had heard of the fishballs in Yong Peng and wanted to eat that. Personally I think the fishballs are quite nice, but not that great either. I got the impression from Keren that she thinks it was ok ok only...haha. But I thing I only remember from this stall is the fried fish cake. They were the best fish cakes I have eaten so far. Yup, apparently they all said it was quite nice too.

After that, we went straight to Melaka town for chicken rice balls. When we got there, there was a long queue in front of the stall under the hot Melaka sun. Well, I think it is just normal chicken rice made into balls only. What is the fuss about it? Why would any sane people queue up in front of the stall? Keren's mum even said that they squeezed the rice balls with their hands, that is why they are so tasty. After we had it, I do agree with Samuel that the chicken was nice. I love the sauce, reminds me of my favourite chicken dish that my grandma used to make.

We walked around the church area of Melaka looking for all the local touristy stuff. More shopping followed after at Dataran Merdeka, the newest and biggest shopping centre in Melaka. But that not before we had some A&Ws. I dunno why singaporeans are so crazy about A&W. Hahaha...we ate somemore of the waffles and float. I feel like a glutton.

We shopped and bought some nice clothes. I also bought my sister a present. She was so smart to ask for an expensive present. I thought roxy bags are cheap but after entering the shop I was enlightened about the truth of roxy prices. Wow...she shouldnt be so branded lar...hahaha

After shopping, we had some nice nyonya dishes. They were quite good but the portions were so small! We must have confused the waitress alot with our ordering, she even ordered the wrong chicken dish for us which turned out to be the one we wanted to order because we couldn't decide on which to order. Lol, I think my sentences are so confusing. Anyways, the business there was so good that they refused to have 2nd orders. I think everyone on the table thinks that the rice there was fantastic. I had 2 big helpings of rice myself while Keren's brothers gobble up the rest of the rice. Thankfully rice was free flow =)

After the nice dinner, we rushed back to JB. I was in cold sweat as Samuel drove 180km/h on the highway. HAhaha...but after Fidelis took over the wheel, the whole car just cant seem so sleep. Everyone was so anxious, worried and afraid because he drove super fast and tailgated the cars in front. Thankfully, we had a safe but noisy trip back =)

Thanks for inviting me for your family road trips. I really enjoyed it.

Busy Buzzy Bee

I think lately I am busy as a bee. Although for many it is only the first few days of school, I felt like I got so many things to do yet so little time to complete it and so little energy to carry it out.

Thanks to one whole month of procrastination, my FYP project has a lot of things to settle. Likewise, for VCF as well, I realised I have so many things I have not done. I guess many in the exco were disappointed with my performance because they expected much more. Well, I also felt that I could do more.

Ok, shall not waste time anymore, I shall start work!

Last few days of the year

The past few weeks have been quite good weeks. In fact I must say that the whole year has been great for me. For me, year 2009 has been a good year. The first half of my year, I spent in the Rhone-alps region in Lyon. Everything in France seem so far away although it has only been recently.

For the past few weeks, I have gotten to know Keren and her family much better. I am thankful that I am accepted by them. I really appreciate the time we spent together and all other times not spent together.

I admit I could have done more for VCF. I once thought I knew what I wanted. But after taking it up, I do not know already. I guess I'll just have to pray.

School has been busy as usual. However, I am still lacking effort in my final year project. I should have put in final year student effort for my final year project.

The only regret I have for 2009 is that I did not get to know my hall people better. SEP had changed my impression towards hall and the hall life. I started becoming more 'phantom' like a typical final year student.

Christmas

Christmas this year was different and more special to me. Keren came and visited me. I really appreciate her coming down to support my choir during Christmas. It was really fun having her here too. I really enjoyed just spending time with her. Haha, we watched a few movies (so that mish and grace wont say that we are so boring). Brought her shopping and just hanging around in the house slacking. It was sad to see her go, but I guess she is quite tired already, although she keeps telling me she's not tired =p

Nevertheless, I really thankful and happy for you being able to come and visit me =) Thanks for your Christmas present too!

I will stop procrastinating tomorrow

I think I shall blog tomorrow...

Anyways, on the side note, I'm learning to see from different perspectives.

Remember

Since coming back from France, I have been drawn into the whole dynamics of a healthy busy university lifestyle. Hardly have I felt the need to just stop and remember and reflect. I have tried to stop and reflect at the end of the day for a few days, I have made a few resolutions of reflection and reevaluation but I failed to keep it. I even requested Keren to do it with me but many times I forget to do it myself. I hope she's still doing it =) and I will resolve to do it from now onwards.

The theme of this camp was quite appropriately chosen because it is something we often choose not to do. We often choose to forget the past because it may be painful. Well for me, pain did not keep me from remembering but rather it was laziness. To a certain extent, I live life at the present.

Claire Bennet in Heroes once said, 'We have to remember who we were before we know who we want to be'. That phrase make sense to me. Yup, so I'll start my journaling today. Pick up the pieces from the past. I learnt that the God of the Bible does really emphasize a lot on remembering, listening, learning, teaching and obeying.

Help me remember.

Insecure

Sometimes, i just need to grow up......need to let go.....not close myself in....

The beginning of school life

The past few weeks have been quite busy for me. Though it may seem hectic, I was enjoying myself for the past few days.

The retreat at Grace's house was quite enjoyable. It really helped me to learn more about this 'Integral Mission' or 'IM' that the exco has been talking about. After so many years of my life, I have decided to step out of my comfort zone and share more about my life. I think I really surprised myself by sharing one of my commitments this semester is to begin a relationship. I was trembling then as I shared more about my personal life. Yup my first step.

I was quite nervous when I went to meet you at dhoby ghaut the other day. The feeling was a bit mixed: excited and nervous. I somehow felt quite comfortable around you. Time suddenly passed and soon I'll meet your friends. I dreaded that moment at first. It was a bit awkward at first when I wasn't introduced. Anyways, that really was my first time going out by the way.

It was quite nice meeting you again for the 2nd time in the week. I really enjoyed window shopping at orchard. I don't really like shopping but for last Sunday, the time just flew past. Hopefully and prayerfully I hope things will work out fine and meanwhile I'll just be patient and let time take its natural course.

Holidays are coming to an end...

Since I came back from France, I have been making regular trips back to Singapore. I find that the holidays are indeed much busier than during the semester. But I have a feeling that I'm going to take back my previous statement about the holidays being busier because I'm about to go through my final year in NUS.

Yes, I've been anticipating attending lectures in English! I want to have the free time during the semester! I have only bidded for 3 modules in CORS. But I need to wait for my results in France to determine whether I still need to take that particular module. My friend just told me he failed the module. So, I have a feeling I failed too because I was in the same project group and both of us did practically nothing for it.

Next week I shall officially move in to Temasek hall and stay there during the week. No more making trips to Singapore and coming back to JB.