One fine day, while in my room. While mugging, I felt a soft touch, delicate and subtle, beckoning me to look behind. There, lo and behold, stood a person. She introduced herself. My name is 'The Past', she said.Well, I don't mind making a new friend, funny name though, I thought.
Soon, as I talk to her more, I grew more attached to her. She is lovely and beautiful. My identity grew by spending time with her. However, as time passes, she demanded more attention from me and I became obsessed with her.
As time went on, she was not perfect as I thought she would be, revealing her flaws, her blemishes. How I wanted her to change but she strong character never changes. Never! The utter feeling of helplessness made me bitter and resentful.
Then one day, I bumped into another person while going for a lecture class. She smiled at me and I smiled back. Soon, we became friends and her name was 'The Present'.
Unlike 'The Past', 'The Present' is very fickle minded, she goes with the wind, chasing everything she wants as if she was lived for today only.
I tried to follow her, to spend time with her, but she was so unpredictable. When I became close to her, my mood swings with the weather: When the sun shines, I am happy; When the rain pours, I am sad; When the storm clouds gather, and the thunder roars, I feel angry; When it is spring, I feel hopeful; When it is winter, I feel depressed. I realised, as much as I was enslaved by 'The Past' I was also heavily influenced by 'The Present' - going through every activity one after the other.
Once, while following my friend 'The Present', I tripped and fell head down. What hurt most wasn't the physical pain, but pain of losing my pride.
Then a hand reached out, gentle but firm it pulled me up on my feet. I was standing again. I gazed upon her face, her beautiful countenance. Her individual facial features were not that attractive but her features as whole were lovely. I stood totally absorbed in her beauty. I am "The Future", she says smiling then she left. She left shortly after that, saying " If you want to be my friend, you'll need to find me first".
However, that was the only encounter with her. Once a while, I catch a glimpse of her. But I never met her again. Sometimes I can picture her clearly in my mine, at other times, her visage is blurred.
There is always hope I'll find her and meet her.
Tuesday, November 27
Thursday, November 22
Sad...
I wanna go home... They locked the piano again, and it is during reading week. I thought they would only lock it during exam week.
=(
=(
Sunday, November 4
Jiwang?
I am confused about it. I think I am jiwang, then I become jiwang; If I think I am not jiwang, then I feel happy.
Hmm...I think I need to confirm that I am jiwang first.
Anyways, this week is gonna be different for me. The month of November, a new month. I did something quite radical also, I got myself PINK coloured braces. Wow! The nurse even looked at me when my itching fingers picked a colour and asked me, "Pink? you sure?" I merely smiled back. Yup, pink.
Yesterday's agenda:
I happily procastinated everything, tutorials, revisions, VPU teachings, Lab reports, etc, etc. So yesterday's agenda was nothing to do with work - A day well spent =)
Oh ya, I forgot to mention, I was in jb, and I played lots of piano.
Tonight's agenda:
I asked my brain, "What are we going to do tonite?" and he replied "The same thing we do every other night, trying to take over the EE2011, EE2004, EE2005 chapters". (Sadly, I always suffer the same fate as Pinky and the Brain - they always fail eventually)
Oh ya, almost forgot, the usual and most crucial thing to do : PROCRASTINATE!!
Tomorrow's agenda:
Going to visit the doctor. Its for my eye 'infection', another pus is growing, disgusting. Going for lectures (Of course, I don't usually skip lectures)
Deadlines:
Plenty but I forgot.
Whatever....
Hmm...I think I need to confirm that I am jiwang first.
Anyways, this week is gonna be different for me. The month of November, a new month. I did something quite radical also, I got myself PINK coloured braces. Wow! The nurse even looked at me when my itching fingers picked a colour and asked me, "Pink? you sure?" I merely smiled back. Yup, pink.
Yesterday's agenda:
I happily procastinated everything, tutorials, revisions, VPU teachings, Lab reports, etc, etc. So yesterday's agenda was nothing to do with work - A day well spent =)
Oh ya, I forgot to mention, I was in jb, and I played lots of piano.
Tonight's agenda:
I asked my brain, "What are we going to do tonite?" and he replied "The same thing we do every other night, trying to take over the EE2011, EE2004, EE2005 chapters". (Sadly, I always suffer the same fate as Pinky and the Brain - they always fail eventually)
Oh ya, almost forgot, the usual and most crucial thing to do : PROCRASTINATE!!
Tomorrow's agenda:
Going to visit the doctor. Its for my eye 'infection', another pus is growing, disgusting. Going for lectures (Of course, I don't usually skip lectures)
Deadlines:
Plenty but I forgot.
Whatever....
Tuesday, October 30
meaning-less
The smell of rain fills the room.
rata tat, rata tat...
The rain pours outside my window. Here am I, sheltered from the pouring rain, but exposed to the inner pouring of the soul. This void, empty feeling, its like a hole, draining the water as rain drops continue to fall. The heavier the downpour, the faster the water drains off, like sucking its life force, draining its youthful vigor. All going down the drain. ALL...
rata tat, rata tat...
The rain abates, the sky brigthens, a silver lining appears in the sky, a rainbow appears, displaying the various hues. Nevertheless, the room remains as it was, dark, gloomy and damp. The diminuendo of rain drops reverberate still so strongly throughout the empty hallways of my heart. Hope beckons, but the heart still clings on to despair, refusing to let go.
...
The rain completely stops. The trees are nourished, the flowers are quenched. But the thirsty soul still longs for something, a source of water that satisfies and never let one thirst again. Somehow, everything before, its just like the rain drops - it just drops, regardless of its destination, it just falls. But even the rain has a meaning, the rain has its worth (in other parts of the world), the rain has its purpose, the rain has its beauty.
rata tat, rata tat...
The rain starts again, drizzling refusing to give up.
rata tat, rata tat...
The rain pours outside my window. Here am I, sheltered from the pouring rain, but exposed to the inner pouring of the soul. This void, empty feeling, its like a hole, draining the water as rain drops continue to fall. The heavier the downpour, the faster the water drains off, like sucking its life force, draining its youthful vigor. All going down the drain. ALL...
rata tat, rata tat...
The rain abates, the sky brigthens, a silver lining appears in the sky, a rainbow appears, displaying the various hues. Nevertheless, the room remains as it was, dark, gloomy and damp. The diminuendo of rain drops reverberate still so strongly throughout the empty hallways of my heart. Hope beckons, but the heart still clings on to despair, refusing to let go.
...
The rain completely stops. The trees are nourished, the flowers are quenched. But the thirsty soul still longs for something, a source of water that satisfies and never let one thirst again. Somehow, everything before, its just like the rain drops - it just drops, regardless of its destination, it just falls. But even the rain has a meaning, the rain has its worth (in other parts of the world), the rain has its purpose, the rain has its beauty.
rata tat, rata tat...
The rain starts again, drizzling refusing to give up.
Tuesday, October 23
Saturday, September 22
6th week...
Basically, these past few days had been busy.
Faced a few disappointments, a few surprises this week.
Firstly, I have been rejected for a post in vpu. Since last year (or last sem to be more accurate), I wanted to eye for a post in vpu. Coz I want to make some changes which I was not happy with vpu last year. Anyways, I respect their decision, and ya, maybe I am involved in too many things, too many commitments. However, its another rejection experience again. I guess I need to get used to it.
Second disappointment - french test. I guess I need to fail sooner, to succeed faster. To be honest, I never did so badly for a test before. Yup, its not even more than 40%. Somehow, this fail I got this time made me more interested and more determined to scored better in French. Seriously, I am actually more interested in French this sem compared to the last 2 sems.
Slept quite little these few days due to rushing the pageant video and various assignments. I did all the catching up on sleep during lectures. I guess thats normal. I wanted to study but didnt had time to study.
On the other hand, I passed my grade 8 exam! It was during 8am when I received an sms from my mom telling me that I passed my exams. Quite an achievement for me, coz according to my mum and my sister, the examiner was quite strict and stingy with marks. But I passed nevertheless.
I got a new pair of slippers. It was sort of a gift for passing grade 8. Haha... The old ones broke last week and I was temporarily using sh's slippers. Quite nice, but I am scared it will be dirty soon, because it is white.
Finally after today's MNO meeting, my group finally came up with a script which I like. In this project, I felt that my group can do more but they are not willing to take a more difficult step. Most of my ideas got shot down by the group. Somehow, I was not happy that the story we discussed was not creative enough. Somehow, I felt that more creativity should be in the video, but the rest think that its good enough to just throw every points straight from the textbook. Its certainly hard to convince them.
I just had DND. Well, tech crew officially ended. Pageant video was screened. The dinner was not bad, quite good actually. However I didn't get to take enough because they didn't replenish the food supply after it is finished. (I thought it was all-you-can-eat buffet) Overall, its was quite entertaining, and too bad someone didn't come for the dinner. Nevertheless I enjoyed it.
Faced a few disappointments, a few surprises this week.
Firstly, I have been rejected for a post in vpu. Since last year (or last sem to be more accurate), I wanted to eye for a post in vpu. Coz I want to make some changes which I was not happy with vpu last year. Anyways, I respect their decision, and ya, maybe I am involved in too many things, too many commitments. However, its another rejection experience again. I guess I need to get used to it.
Second disappointment - french test. I guess I need to fail sooner, to succeed faster. To be honest, I never did so badly for a test before. Yup, its not even more than 40%. Somehow, this fail I got this time made me more interested and more determined to scored better in French. Seriously, I am actually more interested in French this sem compared to the last 2 sems.
Slept quite little these few days due to rushing the pageant video and various assignments. I did all the catching up on sleep during lectures. I guess thats normal. I wanted to study but didnt had time to study.
On the other hand, I passed my grade 8 exam! It was during 8am when I received an sms from my mom telling me that I passed my exams. Quite an achievement for me, coz according to my mum and my sister, the examiner was quite strict and stingy with marks. But I passed nevertheless.
I got a new pair of slippers. It was sort of a gift for passing grade 8. Haha... The old ones broke last week and I was temporarily using sh's slippers. Quite nice, but I am scared it will be dirty soon, because it is white.
Finally after today's MNO meeting, my group finally came up with a script which I like. In this project, I felt that my group can do more but they are not willing to take a more difficult step. Most of my ideas got shot down by the group. Somehow, I was not happy that the story we discussed was not creative enough. Somehow, I felt that more creativity should be in the video, but the rest think that its good enough to just throw every points straight from the textbook. Its certainly hard to convince them.
I just had DND. Well, tech crew officially ended. Pageant video was screened. The dinner was not bad, quite good actually. However I didn't get to take enough because they didn't replenish the food supply after it is finished. (I thought it was all-you-can-eat buffet) Overall, its was quite entertaining, and too bad someone didn't come for the dinner. Nevertheless I enjoyed it.
Friday, August 31
The quiet stillness
Dark corridors...
Silent walls...
The still air...
Its the perfect time for me to do my work. No disturbance, no disruptions, just distraction from my laptop.
Somehow, i just had to sit here and enjoy the calmness, the peacefulness.
No momentum to start work, no motivation to initiate it.
A serene night, with a tinge of loneliness.
mixed feelings...
sentimental...
Arrgghh!! it must be those jay chou songs playing repeatedly on my laptop.
安静- Its one of the first jay chou songs I ever heard. Yeah, when I first came to Singapore, it was Ho Wai's favourite song. I guess it was his influence that I began to like that song too. When ever I hear that song I was reminded of the first few months in Singapore. It was very much different then. Somehow, back then the future seemed brighter, or maybe I wasn't think much about the future.
Funny isn't it?
Well, what's even funnier, certain songs remind me of my secondary school days. Last time, I loved to play those Richard Clayderman songs. That was when I just started learning the piano. I was so anxious just learning more and more songs. (mainly to show off I guess) That time, all I ever looked forward was recess, PE, going back home after school and playing starcraft and red alert. Back then, badminton was what I always looked forward for.
Funny how the quietness of this room is working on my mind.
Silent walls...
The still air...
Its the perfect time for me to do my work. No disturbance, no disruptions, just distraction from my laptop.
Somehow, i just had to sit here and enjoy the calmness, the peacefulness.
No momentum to start work, no motivation to initiate it.
A serene night, with a tinge of loneliness.
mixed feelings...
sentimental...
Arrgghh!! it must be those jay chou songs playing repeatedly on my laptop.
安静- Its one of the first jay chou songs I ever heard. Yeah, when I first came to Singapore, it was Ho Wai's favourite song. I guess it was his influence that I began to like that song too. When ever I hear that song I was reminded of the first few months in Singapore. It was very much different then. Somehow, back then the future seemed brighter, or maybe I wasn't think much about the future.
Funny isn't it?
Well, what's even funnier, certain songs remind me of my secondary school days. Last time, I loved to play those Richard Clayderman songs. That was when I just started learning the piano. I was so anxious just learning more and more songs. (mainly to show off I guess) That time, all I ever looked forward was recess, PE, going back home after school and playing starcraft and red alert. Back then, badminton was what I always looked forward for.
Funny how the quietness of this room is working on my mind.
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