i am weary

I feel fatigue, tired, weary, worn out...

The motivation and determination I had for the past 3 days had vanished...

really feel like giving up and say "I cant cope anymore"...

"But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Why is it that I feel so weary? Is it because I didnt wait on the LORD?
LORD, what does it mean to wait on You? Have I relied too much on myself?
Help me understand what is it to WAIT on You...

I pray LORD, help me understand what is it to WAIT on You,
I want renewed strength, not to be weary and not faint...

"Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matt 11:28-30

Will You give me rest? Life is indeed not a bed of roses.
O, ye of little faith!! Why is it so hard for me to believe those words?

The little toy car...

Once upon a time, there was a little toy car. It had a little boy as an owner. He would often play with it. The toy car really enjoyed itself when the boy spent time playing with it.

After a while, the little boy grew old. Slowly his interest in the toy car diminished. All the little boy did now was to spend time on his laptop playing dota all day long.

The toy car wanted his owner to play with him but the boy seemed to be only interested in cystral maiden and phatom assassin. So, the toy car tried to get the boy's attention by making some noise. However, it only seemed to make the boy get more irritated with the toy.

So, the boy decided to lock the toy car behind a sound proof glass case so that the toy car would be quiet. So, with the peace and quiet, the boy was able to enjoy playing dota without distrations and he finally formed a clan and won the World Cyber Games dota tourney held in singapore 2006. He finally found true joy in his life. Every once in a while, he would glance at the glass case and see the toy car. He would then be reminded of his childhood and say to himself, "What a sad childhood I had, if only I had a laptop when I was young. I could have been a champion in counterstrike, diablo and winning eleven too. "

Sadly, the toy car was no longer useful to its owner. It has outlived its usefulness and now lies forgotten in the case. The toy car really wanted its owner to play with it, but the boy has completely lost interest in the toy car. The toy car felt so helpless, hurt and lonely inside the case.

Then one fine day, the toy car just broke out of the glass case and escaped into the garden. It finally learnt to give up on the little boy. It ran into a group of mice. And since that day, the toy car chauffered the mice around the garden. The toy car had found another purpose of its existence and It lived happily ever after.

keeping in pace...

Life is rather eventful these few days. I am also quite surprised I have managed to stay alive (or stay awake during lectures) this week. The past 2 days I have been only sleeping 4 hours a day (a feat which victor who usually sleeps at least 8 hours a day, will never achieve). Well, what to do, I have to keep up with my work. The less i sleep, the more time I have. Of course, my reliance on cafeine has increased also. I hope not to drink too much coffee coz I heard that cafeine is bad for the brain. Isn't it?

Today, finally I have the afternoon free. But as soon as I came back to my room and went for a shower, chooi syn came looking for me to do productions recording. Sien, there goes my afternoon...more time wasted on recording and I havent do my c++ lab due tmr and my math tutorial and all other tutorials as well. Oh well, I have all the time in the world. Later, i also got to go do rehearsals for production at 10pm.

well, uni life is a busy life.

I have to be tough...coz life is tough.

In the midst of my hectic schedule, I still cant believe I have the time to blog. Well, I guess I need to "chill out". But, life has been really tough for me this week. I even found my past week more hectic than JC life. (fyi, my jc life is working hours, 6am-10pm, 5 days a week).

Well, can't blame anyone else, besides myself for my busy-ness. Well, firstly, why did I even join 3 heavy commitees in my hall?? I have a video I nid to edit before this sunday, I have to help recording for my productions, not to mention find time to teach my dear actor and actress the songs and on top of all, PA duties and meeting to attend. Why am I even in publicity for PA live awards?

Well, I could have coped with the workload, if I didnt take 6 freaking modules this sem. Well, and out of the 6 modules, all 5 modules are harder than average. Firstly, C++ module, "the killer module" which failed 40+ ppl out of 300. Well, there is a reason why it has 5 modular credits. I've been working on my lab programme code since 2 days ago and I m still stuck. The next killer module would be French 2. The dropout rate is even higher and much tougher than C++. I dont even find math and physics easy anymore.

This sem, I am gonna push my limits. Have been sleeping later every night and waking up early in the morning. I didnt even have time to take naps in the afternoon. I just hope I dont fall sick and I guesss I have to rely on coffee for the next week.

Yupz...life is tough.

A Ribena a day keeps the doctor away...

Life is full of discoveries @@

Tutorials...

I was unusually late for tutorial today. I rushed up to my classroom, and as expected, I saw many people already inside. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a brooding firgure at the corner table. Something about him is so familiar. Wait... that's Jason!! Jason?? I quickly checked my classroom number - E1-06-16. Correct classroom. What is jason doing here in Engine? Lolz. Jason is my new classmate @@

Cool, I have always wondered why my math did so much better in jc compared to now. Now I know the answer, it was the brilliance aura emanating from jason that made me smarter. Haha...while paying attention to the tutor, I noticed jason was starting to scribble down some notes. At the second glance, I realised I was wrong, becoz he was actually doodling a sketch of a unicorn. Memories of how jason used to doodle during lectures came back to me. That's the brilliance aura.

Yesterday, my c++ tutorial was quite interesting. The tutor is a Russian. His name is Pavel (pronounced as Pasha). He told us that c++ is very frustration and he really hates c++. LOL. Then a student asked him, " Sir, then what is it that u like? Java? ". He then answered, " Err....actually I like watching movies". Wow, got owned by him. Then the same student asked him again, "Then why are u taking a PHD in computing?". He replied, " Err....to be a professor? I guess, I dont really know what I want to be."...lolz..anyway, he is actually quite a good tutor, coz he doesnt take attendance and he give hints for lab sessions =)

Cherchez-vous un campagnon?

Oui, je cherche une compagnon. Je ne veux pas beaucoup d'amis, mais un bon ami est assez bien. Une petite amie, je voudrais la cherche. Je suis amoureux? Non... Je ne veux pas être seul.

Well, I don't know... Is it just me, or is it I am just someone very irritating and annoying to you, like a thorn in the flesh?
If it is true, I would prefer to be told to me directly about it than just doing it implicitly.

Busy busy busy...why do I choose to do some much work? Does it really matter, if I just skip some meetings or just dont do any work? I feel so cheap, like a child worker being exploited in sweatshops, enduring long hours of drudgery, only to gain meagre CCA points.

Well, anything that doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Perhaps.
But the issue here is not being stronger but being able to survive.

One day...I am gonna prove you guys wrong. I am not a nobody.