emo time(part 2) - 祝我生日快乐

Haha...blame rh and sp for posting 'happy birthday' in their blogs...

Yesterday, ls played me the song'祝我生日快乐'

nice song...been listening to it continuously again...haha

Its EMO time.

Haha...
time to feel emo. I have been listening to a david tao song " 普通 朋友" repeatedly for many, many times liao.

I think the first time I ever heard that song was during secondary school. The guitar part was nice, and I wanted to learn it.

But I had totally forgotten about it. Until 3 days ago, when I went for the combined concert. The scene was so sad and this song played during the scene was so appropriate. I almost cried...

Haha...I know I am being silly and emo...

Its silly holding on to something which isnt yours...

I am not jiwang now...haha... i m anti-jiwang!

*Wish u are, and will continue to be happy always! =)

high on glucose..

I love the TH Hearts stall....they give me lots of corn flakes cookies ^^

Now, I think I am on overdose of sugar...

Yea....PE is over. Its a pity though...but its gone!haha

Haha....now I cant sleep

Well, I have been wanting to sleep early for my practical exam...but somehow I couldnt fall asleep.

There is one thing that really pisses me off - whenever people make fun of me while I am doing my programming. I noe that u guys dont really mean it, but hey, sometimes my programme cannot compile and I cannot find what is wrong...it really makes me wanna strangle someone. My logic is correct, and syntax is right...then after a while, I realised that its due to some stupid mistake I had made again....and it usually takes me more than a day of compiling to discover my error....

There was once in lecture, while I was debuggin my program...I really got pissed when my friend said that " I am noob", "the program is so easy, why cannot do".. "So easy lar." Please SHUTUP!!

U can make fun of me at other times and at other situations, but not when I already spent 1 day mindlessly, repeatedly, tidiously trying to find an error which I KNOW IT DOESNT EXIST in my program but somehow IT EXISTS BY SOME MIRACULOUS CHANCE and is giving me alot of unecessary PROBLEMS in my PROGRAM which makes me look NOOB, STUPID, IDOITIC, SPASTIC, RETARDED!.....u'll know what I mean....

Thats why that really irritates me. I am usually blur and I miss details..thats y my program always have some careless mistake or error...

Letting bitterness go and embracing freedom.

Ya. Its time to let go...
First step:
I did the first step by confronting you and telling u what I am not happy about u.
Well, what I want is the friendship, nothing else. I am not asking u to treat me extra nicely, I just dunwan u to treat me that coldly. Just treat me normally.
Second step:
I am not going to harp on it anymore. I'll not hold it as a grudge against u. And i am apologizing, if I had offended u along the way. I'm sorry =(
Third Step:
Start over again. I know the trust is broken and its difficult to rebuild. But if I value a friendship, I'll try not let what other people say or accusations affect how I treat other people(I noe I cant, but I'll try my best). But It will take time. It will take effort.

wells, hope it works out fine...

Till then, its back to work! freedom! =)

How much hope?

Sometimes, a player in a match, knows that he has very little chance of winning and immediately gives up, allowing his opponents to have an easy walk over. As a result, he lost.

There is another kind of player, a good player, who knows that his chances of winning the match is slim, still fights on. Despite knowing that his chances are slim, he still goes all out, and refuses to think rationally, and believes that he still can win.

The thing that differentiates the two is that one has lost hope but the other still hopes.

I am the latter type. Given a slim hope, even though I know its 0.0000000000001% of winning, I will still take whatever hope that is left for me and stubbornly refuse to GIVE UP. Even failure after failure, still naively believing in that slight glimmer of hope. Just like the player who presses on, refusing to give up, until the match is over. Even when its over, he will go back to intensice training to prepare for his next match..

Thats how much hope I need...

Spoken like a true hypocrite

A truthful hypocrite?

Come on, my own actions betray my speech.

Actions speak louder than words...

Sometimes, I try to project my voice, raise my tone, struggling to bring my message across but to no avail - My actions, my deeds, my works drown and overpower my voice.

Everyone is looking at my walk, not listening to my talk. What I am speaks so loud, that the world cant hear what I say.

Sometimes(Maybe most of the time), I speak too much and I do too little.
Even when I meant what I have said, people have reservations, suspect my motives, question my integrity and doubt my sincerity. Why? Because my words lack content, it lacks the backing up of actions.

That's what I've learnt: talk less and do more =)

but helplessness prevails...

Its like wallowing out of this deep pool of mud, a mire of hypocrisy - the more I struggle out, the deeper I sink back, the dirtier I become.

Give up? No...

Never!

*Today's French test's questions seemed easy, but I really couldn't do it despite staying up studying till 4 last night. (Don't even mention scoring coz I doubt I'll scrape a pass) Well, thats the price I have to pay for being so inconsistent in my work. Bleh...the world should be more unfair