Its EMO time.

Haha...
time to feel emo. I have been listening to a david tao song " 普通 朋友" repeatedly for many, many times liao.

I think the first time I ever heard that song was during secondary school. The guitar part was nice, and I wanted to learn it.

But I had totally forgotten about it. Until 3 days ago, when I went for the combined concert. The scene was so sad and this song played during the scene was so appropriate. I almost cried...

Haha...I know I am being silly and emo...

Its silly holding on to something which isnt yours...

I am not jiwang now...haha... i m anti-jiwang!

*Wish u are, and will continue to be happy always! =)

high on glucose..

I love the TH Hearts stall....they give me lots of corn flakes cookies ^^

Now, I think I am on overdose of sugar...

Yea....PE is over. Its a pity though...but its gone!haha

Haha....now I cant sleep

Well, I have been wanting to sleep early for my practical exam...but somehow I couldnt fall asleep.

There is one thing that really pisses me off - whenever people make fun of me while I am doing my programming. I noe that u guys dont really mean it, but hey, sometimes my programme cannot compile and I cannot find what is wrong...it really makes me wanna strangle someone. My logic is correct, and syntax is right...then after a while, I realised that its due to some stupid mistake I had made again....and it usually takes me more than a day of compiling to discover my error....

There was once in lecture, while I was debuggin my program...I really got pissed when my friend said that " I am noob", "the program is so easy, why cannot do".. "So easy lar." Please SHUTUP!!

U can make fun of me at other times and at other situations, but not when I already spent 1 day mindlessly, repeatedly, tidiously trying to find an error which I KNOW IT DOESNT EXIST in my program but somehow IT EXISTS BY SOME MIRACULOUS CHANCE and is giving me alot of unecessary PROBLEMS in my PROGRAM which makes me look NOOB, STUPID, IDOITIC, SPASTIC, RETARDED!.....u'll know what I mean....

Thats why that really irritates me. I am usually blur and I miss details..thats y my program always have some careless mistake or error...

Letting bitterness go and embracing freedom.

Ya. Its time to let go...
First step:
I did the first step by confronting you and telling u what I am not happy about u.
Well, what I want is the friendship, nothing else. I am not asking u to treat me extra nicely, I just dunwan u to treat me that coldly. Just treat me normally.
Second step:
I am not going to harp on it anymore. I'll not hold it as a grudge against u. And i am apologizing, if I had offended u along the way. I'm sorry =(
Third Step:
Start over again. I know the trust is broken and its difficult to rebuild. But if I value a friendship, I'll try not let what other people say or accusations affect how I treat other people(I noe I cant, but I'll try my best). But It will take time. It will take effort.

wells, hope it works out fine...

Till then, its back to work! freedom! =)

How much hope?

Sometimes, a player in a match, knows that he has very little chance of winning and immediately gives up, allowing his opponents to have an easy walk over. As a result, he lost.

There is another kind of player, a good player, who knows that his chances of winning the match is slim, still fights on. Despite knowing that his chances are slim, he still goes all out, and refuses to think rationally, and believes that he still can win.

The thing that differentiates the two is that one has lost hope but the other still hopes.

I am the latter type. Given a slim hope, even though I know its 0.0000000000001% of winning, I will still take whatever hope that is left for me and stubbornly refuse to GIVE UP. Even failure after failure, still naively believing in that slight glimmer of hope. Just like the player who presses on, refusing to give up, until the match is over. Even when its over, he will go back to intensice training to prepare for his next match..

Thats how much hope I need...

Spoken like a true hypocrite

A truthful hypocrite?

Come on, my own actions betray my speech.

Actions speak louder than words...

Sometimes, I try to project my voice, raise my tone, struggling to bring my message across but to no avail - My actions, my deeds, my works drown and overpower my voice.

Everyone is looking at my walk, not listening to my talk. What I am speaks so loud, that the world cant hear what I say.

Sometimes(Maybe most of the time), I speak too much and I do too little.
Even when I meant what I have said, people have reservations, suspect my motives, question my integrity and doubt my sincerity. Why? Because my words lack content, it lacks the backing up of actions.

That's what I've learnt: talk less and do more =)

but helplessness prevails...

Its like wallowing out of this deep pool of mud, a mire of hypocrisy - the more I struggle out, the deeper I sink back, the dirtier I become.

Give up? No...

Never!

*Today's French test's questions seemed easy, but I really couldn't do it despite staying up studying till 4 last night. (Don't even mention scoring coz I doubt I'll scrape a pass) Well, thats the price I have to pay for being so inconsistent in my work. Bleh...the world should be more unfair

Perspective

An Old man lay in the hospital on the verge of death. As he floated on the verge of consciousness for two weeks, his faithful wife sat in a chair by him every moment. When he finally became lucid enough to speak, he wispered, "Honey, you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When we lost the house, you never left my side. You were there when I lost the business, and when my health started failing."

"Yes dear," she answered, smilling.

"You know what?" he said

"Yes dear?" she asked.

"You're bad luck!"

wats happening...

I dunno what has been happening to me...everybody, please, when u see me, please give me a HARD punch!! WAKE Me UP!!!

I have been rather unreasonable, rather demanding, rather small hearted, rather greedy...GAH!

Perhaps, i need to drown the person deep down inside me...never let it resurface again...
perhaps, drown isnt the appropriate word; I should tame the person inside me, educate him and civilize him...

be o p e n minded, and just let go...

i m sorry...

i m weak...

*this will be my last emo post, as I have applied for membership in anti-jiwang united. Plz note that my happiness is not superficial though I go through various mood swings...I have been through lots of disappointments in life...though I may be moody, sad at times and I may hide it.. but at these sad moments, I embrace it, chewed on it, digested on it, pondered abt it.. it is not a hypocritical happiness...its growing day by day...slowly but surely...though its small now, one day, when I fully learn to trust in Him, real joy is mine...

Sakae sushi and a nice Sparta Body^^

I just ate quite a lot of sushi just now.Went to causeway point with ivan, eric, ls, rh, dina, chooi syn and nay ling..never ate so much sushi in my whole life. Anyways, I was quite 'jakun' coz I never been to sakae sushi before. Made a few embarrassing statements like "ei, where's the chop sticks? They give u?", " u mean the green tea we brew ourselves?"...lolz..and I realised that nay ling can eat quite a lot..lolz, both the guys in our table conceited to dina and nay ling.we couldnt eat anymore..anyway, dinner was good.although way beyond my budget...looks like I have to eat porridge for the next few weeks.

And after that, it was the first time since I went to watch a movie, which was 300. Lolz, well, the movie has lots of violence and gore and some M18 scenes (like LS favourite - the oracle) ...but overall the cinematics is quite nice. I like the way they capture the slow motion of the horses galloping on sand, the robe fluttering and the whip captured in mid air...but really, the whole movie was just fighting and gore, blood, and more gore and more blood, and even more gore....u will get the idea.

Anyways, after watching, when I told the rest I am gonna train a spartan body...they laughed in disbelieve!! just wait and see...one day I'll have it...just wait..haha..lolz, yeah...

*sometimes I wish I could go back in time... how I wish I could take back what I had said to you. I know saying sorry cannot undo what had been done. I really hope I will never do it again, ever.

Pig FOUND!!

This was tor tor before he was kidnapped.This is tor tor when he was returned to me by the kidnapper!

Apparently, the kidnappers tortured my poor Tor Tor by surgically implanting an artificial eyeball (without using anaethesia). How cruel!!

THe evil mastermind of this kidnap case - tan jo, plotted this evil plan to kidnap my pig and torture it. xy was the evil surgeon who sewed the eye on tor tor. Eric was an accomplice and harboured tor tor in his room. yq was the evil kidnapper, who pretended to borrow scissors from me to gain access into my room then kidnapped my pig. Ivan was supposed to kidnap my pig but he failed.

Anyways, thanks alot guys!! really appreciate it!!! I'll take good care of it!

Its been 4 days since u were missing..

My bed is so empty..Its been 4 days...whoever is it that kidnapped my pig, please return it....

@@

I am so sad and lonely without it...

Thanks Everyone!!

Hey guys thanks for celebrating my birthday yesterday! =)

Thanks for remembering it too!

Really appreciate it.

OH ya..something weird happened. my pig was missing...I dunno where has it gone. HEre's a picture of it:
Anyway, foo and xy's hamsters gave birth to baby hamsters on my birhtday...cool

I have decided to entertain deborah's tag...tagged

The rules are:

"Those who get tagged must post 6 weird things about themselves in their blog and state the rules clearly. At the end of the post, you must choose 6 other people to tag."

1. I feel most motivated to study after the exams.. Weird... after my maths exam, I would feel so motivated to study math, the chapters that are already out..I plan to go to the library after my exams to mug. Then as the time goes by (usually by the 3rd or 4th day), I will stop mugging...then I would neglect my studies. And I hate last minute work.. so if I havent study at the last minute, I tend to give up and dont study at all..

2. The more I listen to 1 song (repeatedly) the more I like it.. That's even weirder I guess. People tend to get sien when the song is played like 1 million times. But, the more I hear it, the more I like a song. For example, my ex-roommate used to play some 'funny' (I found it funny then) chinese songs. But after hearing it repeatedly for like 2 weeks straight I actually loved the songs and I hum the tune. Something even weirder, I can appreciate classical music, and very dissonant contemporary modern pieces.

3. I can spend months and years playing the same game over and over again.. For example - dota. Need me to elaborate further??

4. I can be very noisy when I want to and very quiet when I want to.. Sometimes when I tell other people that I am a quiet and shy person, they laugh in disbelieve. Well, I am really shy, ok. Even my ctw mate says I talk too much during group discussions. Ok, ya sometimes I talk too much crap...

5. I am interestingly boring.. Ya, I dunno what I do when I am bored. But I can spend the whole day playing the piano. My my piano playing sux. yeah...but most of the time, I rot in front of the computer for the whole day.. sien

6. I often talk to the person whom I see in the mirror.. Most of the time I talk to the person in the mirror. I laugh at him (the guy in the mirror), I scold him...sometimes I pity him. Weird..

6 persons I am tagging:
1. the guy in the mirror.
2. Cant think of anyone else..
3. Can I dont tag anyone?
4. Sorry, I like to break the rules

haha

Perhaps the time has come...

Sweet yet bitter, that was how it was and will remain as it is.

Perhaps, it is time to forsake and let go of this fleeting affair - blogging

For the moment...

I need to spend some time reflecting on myself, rather than just ranting...